Menu
Login
Nickname

Password

Don't have an account yet? You can create one. As a registered user you have some advantages like theme manager, comments configuration and post comments with your name.
Advertising


Classified Ads
No Ads submitted yet
Editorial: HOW TO STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF IN RELATIONSHIPS Black Habits Articles The following advice can help you begin building positive relationships on a solid foundation of honesty and integrity:

Start with self-love. Spend time with yourself to figure out who you are. "When you love yourself, you know that you are valuable and you don't have to pretend to be anything other than what you are," says Grace Cornish-Livingstone, Ph. D. You can begin this journey, she says, with questions like, What makes me tick? What is my purpose? What goals do I want to accomplish? What type of person do I want to be with?

Learn to be assertive. "I was the go-along-to-get-along girl," says Carla Whitlock, 31, a risk manager for a major bank in Atlanta, who now refers to herself as a reformed doormat. Instead of speaking up for herself, she remained silent through differences of opinion and signs of cheating, just to keep the peace. "I felt that if I said something or questioned his where-abouts, the relationship would be in jeopardy," she says. Correcting that type of behavior begins with valuing your own opinion and feeling confident enough to express it, Cornish-Livingstone explains. "Say to yourself, I choose to make my own decisions and speak my mind," she advises. Start with little things like weekend or dinner plans, or not taking a phone call from someone who undervalues your time. These small acts of assertiveness help build self-confidence.

Find a confidence or relationship mentor. "You need to see what healthy self-esteem looks, feels, and acts like," relationship therapist Audrey B. Chapman says. Seek out a support group through a local hospital or university. The Black Women's Health Imperative offers groups nationwide; call (202) 548-4000. You can also look into some of the more structured self-confidence workshops like those offered through such organizations as the popular Landmark Education (landmarkeducation.com). Or pick up one of many books that has been written about this issue.

Decide to practice honesty and integrity in every aspect of your daily life. Leave the frontin' to someone else. "You don't have to reveal too much too soon, but do be up-front about who you are as a person--warts and all," says author Larry E. Davis. "Stop living on the surface of yourself, and delve into the core of your personality."--K.L.A.

Posted on Friday, June 09 @ 00:00:00 UTC by jcohen



"HOW TO STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF IN RELATIONSHIPS" | Login/Create an Account | 0 comments
The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register
Copyright ® 2005 Black Habits